Ever questioned your own legitimacy to be in a role? They call it the impostor syndrome, the feeling that you are just bluffing your way through, that soon enough you will be found out.
In the confidence
of a coaching session, I have had leaders voice such concerns.
I can feel the
same way as a coach. Surely I must have it all sorted? Be achieving great
things? Always follow my own
advice?
Well no, not
exactly.
Because as Carson
and Langer encourage us to remember, we are all a work in progress. To hold this view isn't an escape clause. It is simply an acknowledgement of our
imperfect perfectness. It gives us
the liberation to accept ourselves as we are, where we are and yet remain open to developing.
It reminds us to laugh at ourselves. It helps us to not only tolerate but also embrace
our idiosyncrasies and paradoxes; to not be paralysed by them but to use them
to learn and grow. It allows us to go easy on
ourselves when we trip up; we smile, get back up on our feet, dust ourselves off
and start again. As Judy Dench
says in the film Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,
"We get up in
the morning. We do our best.
Nothing else matters"
Notes:
Carson, S.H and
Langer, E.J (2006) Mindfulness and self-acceptance, Journal of
Rational-Emotive & Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, 24 (1),
29-43
Image:
freedigitalphotos.net
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