As a coach and consultant, I like to help people find their own ways to self-regulate, to reset and remind themselves of their own resourcefulness. Each person is unique, our reset buttons numerous and our potential unlimited. And I thought it would be an interesting exercise to write up some of the common ways we can reset and resource, and share them.
One teacher who is particularly generous at sharing, is the ‘distinct Western Buddhist’ voice of Tara Brach. She offers many gems – and one which really resonates for me, is the invitation to “be porous”.
She talks about it in the context of us defending against our vulnerability. Fundamentally aware of our mortality, we are constantly bracing ourselves for danger around the corner. This of course helps protect us and gives us boundaries, but it can be exhausting and cuts us off from joy, creativity and connection.
We may be composed of atoms but we walk around as a “bundle of tense muscles protecting against our existence”. If we can become aware of our body in any moment, that can be our opening. If we can stop and breath into any tension that exists, with gentleness and curiosity, we can reset and resource. Becoming porous, we can literally feel the aliveness and energy move through us. Our options expand.
My coachees in a police force have talked about how being introduced to mindfulness has given them a feeling of space. They may not use these terms, neither may you, but in practising being porous, we are learning to “meet our edges and soften”. We are more than our rigidness portrays.
As Tara Brach offers in her talk, here is the nature inspired poetry of Rumi also inviting us to try it out…
Very little grows on jagged rock
Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are.
You've been stony for too many years.
Try something different.
For Tara’s talk’s go to https://www.tarabrach.com/talks-audio-video/
This particular posting refers to: https://www.tarabrach.com/part-1-vulnerability-intimacy-awakening/, and draws on teachings incl from Chögyam Trungpa and Rumi.