Monday, January 16, 2012

What are you pretending not to notice?

I first really ‘heard’ this question in the stimulating book Fierce Conversations1.  Maybe my Mum asked me it when I was a teenager but I didn’t take any notice.

We are sensitive, intelligent whole human beings – with a great capacity to be tuned into our internal and external environment at any moment.

Sometimes though..and usually out of fear, we pretend that we don't notice ..that longing..that pain..that stirring..that pattern of behaviour.. that 'sign' etc.   Because if we did, it would mean that we may just have to do something about it.  

By giving it 'air’ we may need to have some ‘tough’ conversations with ourselves or another.  We may have to make some ‘tough’ decisions.  It may mean we need to get out of our comfort zone. Or retreat. Or let-go. Or dig deeper. Or compromise. Or stretch further. Or accept.

But generally it doesn't go away until we acknowledge it. 

We can only pretend for so long.

So ask yourself gently...

What am I pretending not to notice?

And then notice the response.

By doing this, you can operate from a place of consciousness and choice, not one of automaticity and denial.  From such a place, you can have more control and options over what to do next.


1.  Scott, S. (2002) Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time,  US, Berkley 


  1. Love the picture you've chosen to illustrate this truth! And I'll be asking myself that question now :~) Cx

  2. it was either that picture...or the one of the stricken Costa Concordia (ie: captain..what were you pretending not to notice?!)